Surprise! Depression was the Window to my Soul

By Sally-Ann;

Having always thought myself “normal” though perhaps sometimes a bit down, I was still shocked to be diagnosed with a severe level of depression and anxiety.  At the time, I was given two options of dealing with this: medication or self-healing. I decided I didn’t want to live the prime of my life on medication, and embarked on a journey of self-healing to learn of ways to deal with my depression. I remembered I did once wonder and ponder life’s big questions, like “why are we here?”, “what is the meaning of life?”, “do I have a soul?” or “have we lost our way?”, so I took a step back to those days to really take myself to task to get to the bottom of this diagnosis. 

An unexpected outcome of this journey was to reconnect with my spiritual side, moral conscience and to rediscover my soul. I am slowly learning each day how my soul connects me to the goodness that humans possess – to be loving, caring, nurturing, compassionate, and even selfless. As famous psycholgoist Ronald Conway once said “Soul is customarily suspected in empirical psychology and analytical philosophy as a disreputable entity”. 

Throughout the trials of my life, I had lost perspective on these things and was jaded about the world without – and as it turned out, the world within. Without realizing it, I was stuck in a negative vortex and I would try to use all the excuses under the sun to stay there, like “it’s not me, it’s them”, “why is the world against me?” and “what have I done to deserve this?”. In this negative vortex, I would use food for comfort and the lounge and TV remote were my best friends. I had slowly cut myself off from the world and was an overweight and insecure time bomb.

The hardest part of healing is identifying the problem. I was so blocked out and in denial of my poor physical health and mental state, that to even acknowledge how far I had “fallen” was difficult. I would have to say it was the most difficult thing I have done in my life so far. It has also by far, been the best thing I have done and since that moment of accepting where I was in my life, I have not looked back, I have “turned over a new leaf” and started a journey of self enlightenment. By accepting, rather than fighting or denying my self perceived frailties and failures, I was able to see them for what they are – a misreading of myself as a human – that the world is not out to get me and that by looking at the world through the eyes of my insecurities I was only seeing things that were negative and hopeless and not positive, happy, fun or hopeful. 

Through self-healing tools such as:
  • understanding that fear drives anxiety,
  • using logic rather than panic in negative situations,
  • mindfulness and meditation,
  • yoga and;
  • improving my diet and fitness by healthy living,
I was granted access to the window to my soul.  In my soul lies the love, truth, courage, strength, valour and determination of all humans.  And that is what takes care of me every day.  That is what helps give me the self-awareness to stay out of the negative vortex and in the land of the living.  Our planet and species are so beautiful and unique and just by looking at life from a positive rather than a negative has allowed me to believe in that that again.

Just as Oscar Wilde said “Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.”

Your question: What things have you done to promote self healing? (post your comments below)

About the Author: Sally-Ann  is learning an enormous amount about herself in her soul-searching journey. Not only is she discovering new, intimate and often confronting truths about her nature, she is also finding out so much about the world and of the human condition - our soul, morality... what a difficult path - but what an insightful and meaningful one it is too!


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